from blue to black

I was standing on an ice lake. It was really cold but the ice had started to crack. Nobody was around and I could only see one house at the end of the lake.

The house had a solid foundation. It was a house made out of glass. The glass was so thick that you can only see what was going on inside but sound didn’t go through.

I came over to the house, hoping to get shelter.

When I reached it, I could see what was going on inside.

The house was nicely lit. It was decorated in white and everything was beautiful. Plenty of food, plenty of warmth. People were dancing to the music. It was a wonderful sight.

Then I saw the most beautiful girl. She was wearing a white dress and was seated on a white couch right at the center of the house. She was smiling. It was the most beautiful smile. I couldn’t help but notice her straight away.

She was surrounded by family, friends and people who are close to her. There were a lot of chit chat, laughter, champagne and all wonderful things were happening around her.

Just by looking at her I knew she was the one.

I wish I was in there, right by her side.

I tried knocking on the glass but it was too thick. The music was so loud it didn’t help much either.

I was alone, I was cold and the cracks were getting worse.

I knocked again and again and again until she finally noticed me.

She went over to her side of the glass where I was leaning on. When she stood in front of me from the other side, she smiled, reached out her hand and spoke. I couldn’t hear what she was saying but she looked sad. I tried to smile and hoped that it would cheer her up. It didn’t. 

So I just reached my hand out to her and just looked at her face.

She was crying.

At that time I felt so helpless and frustrated because I couldn’t do anything. I signaled to her asking if she could let me in. Still crying, she slowly shook her head.

At that time, I could only think that if she’d let me in, I’d be able to console her, to throw all her sadness away…and love her.

Then all of the sudden the freezing water got to me. I was already ten feet under. The ice had broken but I didn’t realise it.

I was drowning.

‘Why did the ice break so quickly?’, ‘Could things have been different?’, ‘Why couldn’t she let me in?’, ‘Why was she crying?’, ‘Would another day make a difference?’.

Drowning even deeper into the seemingly bottomless lake, those were the things that I thought last. The freezing water didn’t even matter anymore.

Then I started to run out of air.

And when my consciousness started to fade, she was all I could see. Still wearing her white dress and her beautiful smile she reached her hand out to me.

I tried to reach out to her.

Then everything faded to black.